Valentine’s Day and Pre-Surgery
This is not how I pictured our first valentines together. I once thought we would be in and out of the hospital within a 3-4 week period. Now, we are looking at a second surgery and hoping it will be the last. On her last contrast study, the fluid did not pass through her bowel as easily as it did the first time (3 weeks apart). This led the doctors to believe there may be a blockage, or a narrowing in the intestine that is preventing her from digesting. They scheduled her surgery for 10am on Feb 15th, for 5 hours, but could only take 2 or 3 given the best case scenario. They will most likely be putting a G-tube on her belly so in the event she does need one, they won’t have to go back inside to install it. For those of you who don’t know what a G-tube is:
Placed on the abdomen and is entered in the stomach.
Allows individual to eat through the G-tube and also have fluids and air flushed out (such as bilius).
Still able to eat through the mouth but installed in case individual needs more nutrition and or bigger amounts of food.
There are some risks associated with the surgery:
Infection
Excessive loss of blood
Damage to other organs
In the event that parts of intestine are cut out, leaking of the intestines into abdominal cavity which can lead to infection
Blockages in later years
I am terrified but also excited to get the ball rolling in the proper direction. Now for the worry that I wish I didn’t have, but can’t put to sleep; scars. I am trying so hard to come to terms with the thought of her having long scars across her abdomen but it hurts me so much. I know that I will love each and everyone of them for giving her the ability to survive and live comfortably but how she and others will see them is what concerns me. In a world where perfect doesn’t exist, everyone tries to be and will compare themselves to “perfect” figures. One part of me wants to say that I will teach her to love her scars and fight off what children might say, and the other part of me wants to promise her that I will cosmetically fade the scars. I guess I won’t know what to do until that conversation presents itself. I can only hope that she will see herself as beautiful as I see her, regardless of the scars on her belly.
Je t’aime ma petite Valentine❤️